By Gail Kingsford.Wedding Traditions: What are their origins and meanings?
Weddings have long been a traditional part of our society, and they have always been done in a certain way. So, do we really need to include these traditions in our wedding or are they outdated and unnecessary? Well, this is your wedding and therefore, you get to decide what to include, and which traditions have no place in your special day.
I am going to explain some well-known, and some not-so well-known traditions and explain their meanings, where they came from and how they became incorporated in a traditional British wedding so you can decide for yourself what is important to you on your wedding day.
The White Wedding Dress
The Ancient Romans wore white to symbolise purity, and this custom has stuck with us. White dresses are still standard for a bride, but not necessarily for the same reasons as the Romans. White is one of the few colours that will not clash with any colour choice of décor and bridesmaid dresses. You can choose your colours without worrying about clashing with the people standing next to you in your photos. (Disclaimer: not aesthetically, anyway. We can’t make any promises about clashing in general!)
Image reference – WVSA Suppliers – Lily Francis Bridal
Giving away the Bride
In the UK, it is traditional for the father of the bride (or father figure) to give his daughter away to the man she is going to marry. This custom also dates back to the Roman Empire, and it was used to ensure the groom is a worthy suitor. If the bride’s parents were not happy with the groom then they could take her back and offer her to another man. The history of this act may surprise you. Back in Medieval Times, women were considered their father’s property and sold to their new owners; their husbands, usually in exchange for a dowry.
Something Old, New, Borrowed and Blue
This tradition started in the 1800s and relates to an old rhyme that first appeared in 1871 in St James’ Magazine. This ritual symbolises new beginnings with all the gifts received from friends and family.
The day before a wedding, couples kept this tradition alive by giving each other tokens from loved ones representing something old, new, borrowed and blue. The most popular examples of this were:
Something old: The bride’s father gives her a wedding ring that belonged to his mother
Something new: Mother of the brides gifts her a piece of new jewellery
Something borrowed: A friend lends the couple something they can use on their honeymoon
Something blue: The groom’s mother gives the bride a piece of heirloom lace called Irish linen which is used to make the bride’s veil or wedding décor
All these tokens are given to the couple as a reminder of the love their family and friends nurture for them. Blue represented purity, and according to the old English rhyme, a true-blue gift for the wife is a comb with only three teeth. This custom is still practiced today in some parts of the UK and Ireland, and it is believed that the two “blue” teeth represent the promise of children. It is a way for the bride’s family to show their appreciation for her and the future husband and wish them many happy years together with children and all the other blessings that come with being married.
Throwing Rice (Confetti)
This tradition started in the early 20th century as people believed it would bring fertility. (I have no idea how the link between rice and fertility came about!)
White rice was used because it represents purity, but over the years this has developed into petals, confetti and even hole punched leaves.
The First Dance
The newlyweds’ first dance was originally a custom where the bride and groom would perform an intimate waltz to “Auld lang Syne”, and is a crucial moment in a British wedding as it signals the first time they are in public together as husband and wife.
Over time, it evolved to the bride and groom using a song of their choice, but it originated in the Victorian era with only the one song choice to be used in the tradition. When the music stops, the newlyweds are usually surrounded by their guests and family, where their love is celebrated and it signals the beginning of the honeymoon.
Carrying the bride over the threshold
Carrying the bride over the threshold originated as a way to protect the bride from evil spirits and prevent her from stumbling over her dress. It is a tradition to carry the bride over the threshold of their new home they will share together, which symbolises entering into a new life together.
The tradition is still alive in some places, but it has evolved into more of an act of protection and love than just that of practicality. It is a symbolic gesture of being strong enough for her in this moment and in all moments to come. By carrying his wife over the threshold, the groom is showing his appreciation for her, his acceptance as his wife, and taking responsibility for the bride. This tradition started in the 1900s.
Bridal Bouquets
These aromatic bouquets were thought to ward off evil spirits and ensure a prosperous future for the newlyweds. Similarly, in ancient Greece, brides carried aromatic herbs and flowers to symbolise fidelity, happiness, and fertility. Bouquets were also used to hide the smell of body odour due to the lack of baths in the 15th century.
Image reference – WVSA Suppliers – The Flower Boutique
Not seeing each other the night before the Wedding
Today, we’re told the reason not to see each other before the ceremony is because of luck. The bad kind. Most people love the build-up of excitement and anticipation, which I’m all for as I’m a sucker for taking reaction photos to the first look down the aisle. However, back in the Middle Ages when weddings were arranged, they were very much seen as a business deal between the families. A father, handing his daughter over to a rich family, would want to keep her under wraps until she reached the altar so the groom couldn’t back out if he didn’t find her attractive. I have no words.
Wedding Veils
Veils have 2 traditions surrounding them. The first tradition was to hide the bride’s beauty and ward off evil spirits and jealousy that could ruin their happiness. The second tradition was during the times of arranged marriages to ensure the groom did not see the bride’s face until they were already married.
The veil is also the reason that up until October 2012, weddings in the UK (not Scotland – they were trendsetters here) could only take place between the hours of 8 am and 6 pm. In the 19th century, and pre-electricity, veils were heavy and thick. So a groom couldn’t make out the face of his bride if the church was too dark.
Maid of Honour and Bridesmaids
In the good old Dark Ages, bridesmaids had one purpose. To confuse jealous suitors and evil spirits. Brides and their bridesmaids would wear the same dress and veil as the bride to help with the confusion as to who the bride was. The Maid of honour was the main distraction to protect the bride from coming to harm.
Bridesmaids had a more spiritual role initially but as this tradition has developed and bridesmaids are chosen by the bride to support her during the celebrations. I think even the strongest friendships could be tested if protector from evil spirits was still on the modern bridesmaids’ task list!
Best Man and The Groomsman
Traditionally, the groomsmen were appointed to ensure the bride did not escape, and, if necessary, he would kidnap her! If the bride’s family weren’t happy about the arrangement and didn’t approve of the marriage, the best man had to make sure the groom could take her away regardless.
So, now you’re fully educated on where these traditions come from you can decide what to include in your wedding. Tradition or not, it is YOUR day and you can do whatever makes you comfortable.
Gail x