By Pete Thacker-Davis.

Who to invite to your wedding?

Let’s face it, planning a wedding is difficult. Chances are if you’re reading this you have already had a big weight lifted off your shoulders and you have won round one of our Bespoke Wedding competition! This means you have your Bespoke Wedding planner helping with the difficult parts. But the one thing we can’t help you with is your guest list – we can however give you some pointers.

Step One: Be realistic!

Yes, ideally, we would want to invite everyone we know to our wedding but in reality that just isn’t possible, venues are not big enough or the cost to feed all those people could break the bank. You need to sit down and make that list. Its not going to be a quick task and you will forget people but don’t worry you will remember them…. Eventually.

who to invite to your weddingStationery by With Love

Step Two: Making the chop!

Depending on your budget you may have to make tough decisions on who you want there on your special day. Best place to start is immediate family and closest friends (people you couldn’t imagine spending your special day without). Then look back to aunties, uncles, cousins and other friends, if there’s still numbers and money in the budget then you can reconsider those other friends and relatives.

Step Three: It’s your day, have who you want there!

If you are worried that you are going to upset someone that’s ok, everyone who gets married has to make tough decisions when it comes to the guest list. Firstly don’t invite someone just because its your dads, uncles, cousins, brothers girlfriend. If anyone is trying to force you to invite them just say no!

If you are struggling to cut down numbers think “have I seen this person since I’ve been engaged?”. Don’t be afraid to say no Children, yes children are cute and sweet at times but that doesn’t mean you have to have them at your wedding. Most invites for weddings go out 6 months in advance which is more than enough time for parents to find a babysitter for the night.

Also Partners, you need to think about your partner plus ones. If they are married you probably need to think about inviting their other half but if they are just dating you can say no I’m sorry but they are more then welcome to join us for the evening celebrations. The only time I would look at making this exception would be if the person coming doesn’t know anyone else at the wedding, it then would be nice to invite their partner so they are not on their own.

who to invite to your weddingPhotos by Backlash Photography

Step Four: Day or Night

When you get to the point of knowing who you want there on you special day, you have to decide who do you want on the day (for the ceremony and wedding breakfast) and who you want there on the evening (party). This can again be tough because of family and friend politics etc. so best to look back at Step two and work your list that way.

You could look at it budget wise and see who would you want to spend £40 a head for wedding breakfast and £15 a head on drinks for the day, and then who am I happy with paying £10-£20 a head for the evening meal. If you can’t see yourself spending that much on the person then just think who would you spend that much on for a normal meal out? It helps make the decision easier.

When you send out the invites, first only send out the invites to the people you are inviting all day. Give them a deadline to RSVP. When that deadline hits anyone who hasn’t responded or has declined means you can take some people from the evening, and make them an all day guest and fill the gaps. Then when the day guest section is full, you can send the invites out to the evening guests.

who to invite to your weddingPhotos by taken at The Maynard

This is just one of many ways you can help use to prepare your wedding guest list, there are other blog and books that you can find to help make the decision easier. Just remember no matter what anyone says its your big day and it needs to be how you want with who you want. There isn’t anybody who should make you feel bad for the choices you make!

Pete x

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